Me.

I think the question "who am I" is fairly difficult to answer simply because I'm still trying to figure that out. I read horoscopes to get a better understanding of my personality and I think, for the most part, what I understand about myself is what other people have told me. There are a few absolutes, though. I am 20 years old, I'm the only daughter of two successful, intelligent people. I have lived in New York City my whole life, excluding the 9 months I lived upstate my freshman year of college. I quickly realized that Manhattan was the only place I could live. That notion changed, however, about a month ago when I returned from Australia where I spent 2 weeks with my boyfriend and his mother's side of the family. So now I can live in two places, Manhattan and Melbourne. Manhattan is my Mecca, though, and I will always turn to it no matter how far away I am. But that's where I habituate. Doesn't say much about me except that I love urban life and ordering chinese at any hour of the night. I love to write. Which also doesn't say much about who I am, it's really just a hobby. I find poetry the hardest and least fun genre to write in. I do love reading poetry but definitely not as much as I love reading nonfiction (memoirs, mostly) and fiction. Joan Didion is my favorite author, but she plays that role for many, many people. A few years ago I would have said that my friends are the most important people in my life, but I've learned that friends come and go and only very few really stay with you. Family is very important to me and always will be. My mom and I are close and even though we fight more than I can say, I know she will always be the person I turn to.

As I mentioned earlier I do read my horoscope, childish and hopeful, yes but I am a Cancer and have found over the years that that zodiac sign fits me like a glove. I'm definitely moody (I'm pissed off at my boyfriend as I'm writing this...he is in the other room showering allowing for some "cool off" time) and I'm also overly sensitive, which is something I surprisingly do not have a hard time admitting. My boyfriend just came back and said "hi", I'm just going to keep writing and pretend I'm not so angry anymore...i.e. hard shell exterior, very crablike. I am very protective of the people I love but probably should be more protective of myself. Many decisions I make are made on impulse; I have a difficult time looking beyond the right now. Some of the best and worst decisions of my life were made that way.

I do not like Valentine's day. I really don't understand why it's a holiday at all. It's annoying and obnoxious even when you do have a significant other. Many social gatherings I see as social obligations, which many of my friends make fun of me for and I don't understand why. I want a tattoo but would never get one. Not because I'm Jewish but because I have no idea what I would get that would look cute on a 70-year old woman. Speaking of which, my biggest fear is death and it's on my mind frequently. Again, something that many people make fun of me for, including my family.

Overall, I'm pretty normal. I like to laugh, see movies, drink wine, write, read...shop(?) but only online. I appreciate good food, good friends and a good night's sleep. I don't do too well without coffee (Dunkin all the way). And that's about it. I'm excited about the time in my life where everyday I learn something new about myself, but until then, this over-simplification of Jaclyn Alexa Riback will have to suffice.