Saturday, February 5, 2011

I am a New Yorker...not of the sterile "new" New York that exists today but the filthy, lawless, "old" New York of years past...the one I moved to 20 years ago as a precocious and naive 16 year old. I knew who I was back then, or so I thought.

Much to my dismay I've come to an age when cliches like "time goes faster the older you get" and "the older you get the less you know" ring true. I always scoffed at Thoreau's description of the masses leading quiet lives of desperation...the younger me couldn't imagine how that could ever happen...but it's become a haunting idea. I once heard a quantum physicist say that reality doesn't happen to us, we happen to reality...I can't say I've fully integrated that concept but it gives me some solace to think we have that sort of power over our lives.

I've been told I am a walking contradiction. I think I'm just a fatalist with nihilistic tendencies who's hoping for the the best...maybe that means I am an optimistic realist! I've certainly seen a lot over the years both good and bad. I had more crazy New York jobs in my teens than I can remember. In my twenties I travelled around the world as a flight attendant, later I sold diamonds on 47th St and for the last decade I've been a private trainer teaching Pilates and Gyrotonic, but my first love is documentary films and that's why I am back in school.

Really, I think I'm just like everybody else, a well intentioned, self involved person who's trying to find their way and live a life with meaning.


  1. I saw this and thought of your post. Quiet but magical. As long as one continues to grow there is little room for desperation.

  2. I love your views on the "old" and "new" New York. You seem to have had some very interesting experiences!